Tuesday, 30 December 2014

Private Polly Post (PPP)

i write stories, books, make films, listen to glitter metal, watch dreampop videos, & used to like indie. Dislike shopping. dislike groups. go out with moderation. i take city walks by myself. drink a drink, eat a sandwich, no biggie. Sometimes it gets late, if i make acquaintances -- tell the story of life, or listen to someone else's, bye. I like to dress up, i am not shy. i dislike being drunk. it's the un-cleanest high-low messy inarticulate whaaaaa that i know. i like diamonds, but i don't have any. but i wouldn't take fakes instead, then rather nothing at all. don't mind sewing when i'm in the mood. i write on trains, in airports, in bed, and in libraries. hot and cold on cafes -- find myself eavesdropping despite myself, losing focus... I'm not sure what i am looking for in my creations. a lot of what I do has already been done. i want to bring out the new sheen from under. i find dream sequences psychologically interesting, and sometimes artistically useful. but on the whole i don't get the hype. in reality i meet many artists, more and more. too many, far too many, whom i happen not to find that interesting. too commercial. commercial, said of art, is a big word obviously. i'm mostly disappointed when i artists tell me they have big plans for the public... when the "art" part becomes the "imitation of successful other artists" part, feel like a rug's being pulled from under my feet. And of course, there's the "I am friends with such and such" part. Barf. I also cringe at bad poetry a lot. I usually know straightaway whether I like a work of art or not. Very often I don't, but I also know how bad it is to tell an artist that, so I don't. But I am not happy. Because i feel so mushy about the arts scene, and because i don't know what's to be done, i'm mostly absent. To crack the code of how to make a beautiful and ravishing work of art, i value most the deep and uninhibited conversations with inspired people. who may or may not be artists. oh my. arts scene dysphoria big time.

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